Crush Fetish

Some people out there enjoy being stepped on. They enjoy the feeling of subjugation.
Whatever floats your boat, go out and get your pasty, anemic face stepped on by a woman in stilettos for all I care.
But, the minute you bring cats, rabbits, small rodents etc. into the picture, then you've got a problem, and society has a problem with you.
If you become tumescent at the sight of a woman laying a stone slab on a small rabbit, then sitting upon it until its organs spew from its mouth, then there is something fundamentally wrong in your head.
I've heard all about how 'everything is a fetish', rule 34 and all that, but how can ANYONE defend this shit? Oh, look, the sick cunts actually made an attempt...

(I can't find the original quote, and I'm not going to)

"CF (crush fetish) is about giving up your life to a member of the opposite sex."
Well, you go out and do that then, please. Give your life up to a stone slab and some woman's fat arse. Remove your fucked up, defective genes from the world.
Or, did you mean that the ANIMALS enjoy 'giving up their lives'? Surely you can't be that fucking vapid.

"Those that oppose CF, should first ask themselves if they are vegetarian!"
I'm gonna paint a distinction here.
I eat meat, I support the HUMANE slaughter of animals, in the belief that a life taken for sustenance is a life not wholly wasted.
These wankers revel in the infantile, barbaric and slow death of defenseless creatures, so that some socially inept soon-to-be serial killer can expel a few orbs of spunk from his limp dick.

FUCK YOU

The serial killer comment was not without foundation, by the way;
"Serial killers often start out their "careers" by maiming, harming and torturing small animals. In extreme cases, they have been known to spend hours inflicting a slow death on animals when they are young. This act is a form of control, and allows them the power they crave and feel they can not get elsewhere. This is a very serious early warning sign to get help. Do not think they will outgrow this phase."

Fusion Paranoia

Fusion Paranoia is a term used to describe the indiscriminate assimilation of information into a wider (conspiracy) theory. It needn't have any correlation to established elements of the theory in question. It might, even, be pure speculation.
And it is rampant within the tin-foil-hat-wearing, black-helicopter-watching community.

Take, for instance, two simple holes in the South Pole, spotted with Google Earth. What could they be? Glacial artefacts? No! Sink holes? No! Dark, overshadowed bedrock, giving the illusion of depth? NO!
OBVIOUSLY, they're entrances to a vast network of underground tunnels.
Used by aliens, of course, on their regular refuelling stops. Sometimes they take the time to influence our government and blow up buildings in New York.
I'm not making this up, by the way:
(skip to 2:30)




I didn't think it could get much worse than this, until I saw...





That's right... Those are fucking clouds.

Sigh... It's not easy, you know, debunking these conspiracy theories. Hours upon hours spent analysing every minute detail of each video...

I'm gonna do more on this topic soon, it's very fun.

CopperCab, the tool

I don't like calling people idiots. I prefer to see them as having a slightly skewed outlook on the world. But CopperCab, subject of the infamous "GINGERS HAVE SOULS!" video, truly is an idiot. He believes that -

- Being ginger is a serious social affliction and very much above big noses, acne or gimp legs in terms of amount of abuse received.

- South Park, despite constant, relevant messages of tolerance and equal rights, do in fact have something against his 'people', and encourage their alienation.
Also, that the promo which featured Cartman giving his rendition of CopperCab's 'souls' rant, was designed as an inside joke with only himself in the exclusion zone, "Did you not think that I would see? I saw... the damn commercial on TV... If an episode about me, or my people airs, I will be... I will be... I will be livid, all right?"

- M.I.A's shock video, 'Born Free', which features gingers being hunted and routinely expolded or otherwise killed, is a call to arms for non-gingers... Rather than a run-of-the-mill allegory for trivial non-acceptance of minorities and subsequent 'cleansing'.

- Unfunny, effeminate, and narcissistic Youtuber Michael Buckley (aka WHATTHEBUCKSHOW), should be shouted at for using the term 'firecrotch' in a review of Twilight: Eclipse, and then making a surprisingly fair follow-up video in his own defence. Despite his grating personality, Michael should be complimented for making the point that no one group is immune to mockery.
CopperCab shouted anyway.

He just doesn't seem to get it. If he thinks he's alleviating the 'plight' of his 'people', then he's sadly mistaken. He is, in fact, the web generation's ginger pariah.
Maybe us gingers really are deplorable genetic abominations...
Can I get a genocide here?

2012 Bollocks

Barack Obama is the 44th president of the United States.
4 + 4 = 8

Obama has two ears, two kids, two testicles, and was born of two parents.
8 + 2 = 10

10 or X is the designation of the reptilian infested planet Nibiru!!!
The planet which will pass by Earth on December 21st, 2012.

He operates from the Oval Office.
An elliptical orbit is one which is vaguely oval in shape, the very same orbit which Nibiru is on!

We are in grave danger, my friends, and we must prepare to fight against the incoming reptilian invasion. Or maybe Annunaki.

Obviously, Obama is reptilian scum who wishes to hoist his disgusting species back up the food chain. We forced them under ground thousands of years ago, keeping their knowledge and technology for ourselves. But infiltrators remain.

Take heed of my warning, and remember...
Those who would attempt to tell you that these words are untrue, that we AREN'T facing an interspecies war, or that great change is NOT approaching, are friends of, or are themselves, the enemy.

Truth

SMOKING WEED AND ANTICIPATING THE IMPENDING BOA CONSTRICTOR DEATH OF AN ASIAN MAN PISSING ON LARGE TITS!?!?

My tribute to Shane Dawson and Ray William Johnson.
The two biggest tools ever to walk the web.

Brace yourself... NIGGER.

Ban the n-word!?

A word is just that, a word. A puff of air shaped by lips and tongue. It has no inherent meaning save for that which people attribute. Yes, the n-word's historical context is deeply saddening and outrageous, but banning it would only add to its appeal, for the knuckle-dragging redneck types who would use it in the first place.
Reinforce its taboo status, and you reinforce its level of perceived offensiveness.
Accept that the word exists, and refuse to be affected by it. Only then will its power wane.

I hate waps

konichiwa minasan!!!1 my name is Marionette Zeta and i'm just your average culture-capitalising teenager! i love manga but i think anime is too commercial, like naruto isn't even good anymore i still like bleach and fruits basket though.. i'm a little bit random as in i dont think the way most people do if something comes into my head i'll just say it and don't care what people think of it (lol LEMON PIE!!!1). HAHA. i live in philly and i hate it, everyone in scool is soooooooooo fake, they all wear stupid abercrombie and then make fun of me because they can't even READ the labels on my clothes lol. my b est friend is abbie or Hama Mamoru and we love each other, sometimes alittle too much LMAO!!!! but if u have a prob with people who are bi then keep your opinion to urself. were both learning japanese after scool and well both be fluent by da end of the year hopefully!! i LUV asian, especialy japanese culture, the skyscrapers and all the pretty shops and crazy food and toys!! soemone tryed to tell me about nanking or something once but it was too depressing so i jus went back to my COMIC! my fav band is tokio hotel and lots of j pop cos its all so random and crazy like me!!!11! OKAY gotta go now but ill be back soon! tennis racket!!!!
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Play chess, save the mawfuckin' world

Frustration and indignation abound in classrooms around the world. And why? Well, 'fuckin' maths', of course. And while I fully accept the benefits of + - x /, as well as some of the other more obscure aspects, I too was filled with that same indignation during my time in school.
"What's the point of learning something you're going to forget 2 minutes after the leaving cert?"
The only somewhat satisfactory answer I ever heard to the obligatory question of "Sir/Miss, when are we ever going to use this?", was "it's great exercise for your brain".
While I'm sure that's a fact and all, I'm not so sure that the habitual absorption of information requires that your brain be pumping sweat through vein-bulging skin, skulling Powerade and demanding 'MORE FUCKING WEIGHT!!!'

So here's my suggestion...
Minimise the amount of curricular time afforded to maths. That would take work, and many a crease would need ironing out, but that's not my job, Mary Coughlan.
And if producing students with intricate, marble-carved brains is such a priority, introduce chess in its place.
Chess has been shown to greatly improve short and long-term cognitive function, increase IQ, and can play a role in keeping Alzheimer's at bay. It's a hobby and a skill, and one that almost anyone would enjoy with sufficient knowledge of the game. It could become a new national pastime, one which we could take pride in, as it would not only suggest the collective intelligence of this tiny island, but our progressive and effective education system. (Although I use the word 'effective' sarcastically, and will continue to as long as the junior/leaving cert are in place).

Even if any students weren't to enjoy it, don't try to tell me they'd rather be memorising theorems and finding x. And if they're of the weird type who actually enjoy the tedium, well, fuck off. You now have an extracurricular hobby.

OMG FIRST!!!!!!!!1

Howya. I won't be doing an introduction, because, apart from opinion, this isn't going to be a me-centric blog. There you go, that's what it's not going to be. What IS it going to be? Meh. Everything, from everywhere, marinaded in a rich cynical sauce.

That being said, let's jump straight into the hamster torture.

I have great admiration for hamsters and rodents in general. The good nature of a guinea pig, the ingenuity of a rat (the single most misunderstood and wrongly maligned animal on Earth), are just two of the traits which they possess in spades.
I myself have owned seven hamsters during my time on this planet, as well as one chipmunk and one gerbil, and each of them was an adorable, fluffy bundle of fun. Fun to watch, fun to let crawl up and down your arm, etc. And, apparently, fun to chuck into a pool about the size of a soccer pitch from their perspective (watch from 1:12 for a heart-warming display of compassion) :



As you can see, that bitch, is a bitch. With the voice someone in her late teens, and the mentality (and idiotic giggle) of a five year old.
If you think I'm overreacting, then I probably am. It's a tough job and someone has to do it.